Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Am I materialistic?

Last few days I been asked by many as to what I would want as a gift.. no, its not my birthday or anything.. just that my mom is returning from US and my bro & sis wants to send some gifts with her.. and that my wife is returning from Dubai after a couple of months and wants to bring something for me...

So what is so wrong with that, you ask... nothing, if one does not read between the lines... when I think about it a bit more... i wonder why my wife keeps asking me if I want an iphone.. is it just because she thinks I need a new phone (my current phone is not in great shape) or is it that she thinks that buying me a gift will cover up for her extended absence... that I would prefer getting the iphone than her presence.... I don't know... may it is.. maybe it isn't... and ofcourse I will give her the benefit of doubt... I always do (ok ok... atleast mostly do)

but this raises the bigger question.. irrespective of their motives... am I looking at happiness from material things... maybe I do.. recently I have been spending all my 'internet' time on surfing websites selling stuff that i like (electronics, bike gear etc), looking for new house, new car and on Bike related sites... while time spent on bike / tours related sites is to experience the life what I would like to live... and believe me I will never have the kind of time required for that kind of touring... but what about the other sites... why am I spending so much time of that... guess I am trying to look for happiness from material things.. and while everyone enjoy some luxuries, I always thought real happiness come from relationships.. all kinds of relationships (wife, parents, siblings, children, friends, colleagues... i guess u get the idea :-)).. and from little things that do not require money...

so am I changing... maybe i have been changing since some time now... its only realisation has dawned upon me only now... but I have also realised that these things don't make me happy...

reckon my current state can be summed up by the statement in the book 'Shantaram' - My heart moves through deep and silent water. No-one and nothing, can really hurt me. N0-one and nothing, can make me very happy. I am tough, which is probably the saddest thing you can say about a man.

but that's just the current state... It will be over... sooner than later... and as Arnold would have said it 'I 'ill be back'.... you bet your **s I will... I have to...

4 comments:

Suruchi said...

change is the only constant in life!nai?...don't know why i write such global gyaan as comments on ur blog...but the way u write prompts me to do so...anyways! happy that u are suddenly going to have soo many people around you...:-)

Just Me said...

I didn't get the message u wr trying to convey...
Guess you have formed a perception about me and when you read my blog, you read through that perception... maybe if it was written by anonymous person.. ur comment might have been different.. what I am trying to say is that it may be more than because of my writing style (or lack of it)...
Anyways I look forward to ur comments..

rayshma said...

honestly, i'd rather be sensitive than tough. i think in being tough, we lose out on a lot of experiences and/or emotions that mould our perspectives & enhance the growth process. it's more practical, yes... better? maybe not.

p.s.: came here from suruchi's... been reading on & off for a while now... thought of letting u know! :)

Just Me said...

I fully agree..

Nice to know that u read my blog..